It was my dream camera.

After years of shooting everything from Canon and Nikon to Fujifilm X Series cameras, I had always been fascinated by digital medium format. The idea of a larger sensor, more detail and image quality that pushed beyond what I had previously owned held a certain appeal.

When I sold my business and decided to pursue something more meaningful than simply working to make money, I allowed myself one indulgence.

I bought the GFX100S.

The strange thing is that after finally getting my dream camera, I didn’t use it nearly as much as I expected.

Part of that was practical.

Most of the photographs I was making in the Philippines involved family life. Candid moments. Children running around. Everyday life unfolding in front of me. For those situations, my X100VI and X-T5 simply made more sense.

But looking back, I think there was another reason.

I didn’t really know what the GFX100S was for.

Not technically.

Personally.

I knew what it could do.

I didn’t know what I wanted to do with it.

Finding A Direction

Over the last year, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking.

About family.

About responsibility.

About the future.

About what matters.

Since returning to Scotland, I’ve found myself spending more time walking with a camera and less time worrying about making beautiful photographs for the sake of it.

I’ve been paying attention to the images that stay with me.

The photographs that feel important.

The ones that seem to be asking questions rather than simply showing a scene.

Slowly, a number of long-term project ideas began to emerge.

Projects about family.

Projects about memory.

Projects about ageing.

Projects about the passage of time.

And with those projects came something I had been missing for years.

A reason to use the GFX100S.

Slowing Down

The Fujifilm GFX100S isn’t actually a slow camera.

Compared to the Canon 5D Mark II I used professionally many years ago, it’s remarkably capable.

But it does encourage a different approach.

The 100-megapixel sensor rewards careful technique.

Depth of field behaves differently.

Focus placement matters.

Camera shake matters.

Everything benefits from a little more consideration.

You can absolutely use it casually.

But to get the very best from it, you need to slow down and pay attention.

Recently, that’s exactly what I’ve been trying to do.

Not because I want more megapixels.

Not because I want sharper files.

Not because it’s the most expensive camera I own.

But because the projects I’m working on deserve that level of attention.

The Camera Didn’t Improve My Photography

When I bought the GFX100S, I think part of me believed it would improve my photography.

That was naïve.

Cameras don’t do that.

At least not directly.

The image quality is incredible, but image quality alone doesn’t make meaningful photographs.

What the GFX100S has done is something much more valuable.

It has encouraged me to think.

To slow down.

To be more deliberate.

And perhaps most importantly, it forced me to find a genuine purpose for using it.

The camera didn’t improve my photography.

Finding a reason to make photographs did.

Looking Forward

For the first time since buying the GFX100S, I feel like I understand why it’s in my bag.

Not because it’s medium format.

Not because it’s 100 megapixels.

But because the photographs I’m trying to make now require a different pace and a different mindset and the best that I can give them.

The camera hasn’t changed.

I have.

If you’re interested in the more personal side of that journey and the projects that led me to this realization, I’ve written about them in more detail on my personal website:

It started off in the Philippines, trying to sell our belongings and arrange our international family move back to Scotland. Sorting out all the loose ends while also getting a home organised from the other side of the world was a bit of a logistical nightmare.

However, we managed to arrange everything after basically culling our belongings down to the bare minimum.

At the end of January, we arrived in Scotland and spent the next few weeks making the new house feel like a home. Buying the essentials, finding suitable furniture and helping Sofia settle into school.

Things finally started to calm down a little.

Then I received a phone call from the lettings agent.

The call left me stunned.

We had taken on the house as a long term let, somewhere to settle and build family life here. A place to give Sofia and Isabelle a secure, comfortable environment to grow up in.

But after the call, everything changed again.

The owners of the house had changed their minds and decided they wanted to move back in themselves. So with just two weeks before my wife and Isabelle arrived in the UK, I suddenly found myself desperately searching for another house for us to call home.

By that point Sofia had settled into school really well, made new friends and joined the local horse riding club, so I had to limit my house search to somewhere within a reasonable commute because I wasn’t prepared to disrupt her again.

With the whole move being driven largely by our developmental concerns regarding Isabelle, and with her arrival already delayed due to the situation around Iran making the usual transit through Dubai unsafe, I was suddenly juggling rearranged flights alongside trying to secure another home and dealing with uncertainty over how long we even had left in the current one.

I didn’t tell my wife about the house situation at the time.

I didn’t really see the point. It was up to me to sort it out and try and do so without making her worry even more during an already stressful move.

Now, nearly two months after their arrival, I’m relieved to say that I found another home for us.

It’s a bit smaller and a bit further away from Sofia’s school, but it’s in a lovely countryside location and it genuinely feels like somewhere we can make home.

So for the last few weeks, I’ve really struggled to think straight, let alone get out for as much photography as I’d like.

We’re settling Isabelle into nursery life here, arranging medical appointments and thankfully she seems to be adapting really well to life and routine in Scotland.

My mental load though still hasn’t really reduced.

There are still tensions within the house and unfortunately I suspect those tensions are going to come to a head over the next few weeks as I look to ensure that my youngest daughter’s best interests remain prioritised, even if that creates some conflict.

With all of this going on, and having spent a lot of time lately shooting wildlife with the Nikon Z8 — a camera built around speed and responsiveness — for the last few days, whenever I’ve managed to muster the energy for small local walks, I’ve found myself taking the Fujifilm GFX100S instead. If you want to see how detailed GFX100S files are then I wrote this post about them.

A camera that even when it was released back in 2021 wasn’t exactly considered fast.

And honestly, I think that’s part of why I need it right now.

The fact that it isn’t a fast camera forces me to slow down a little. It forces me to focus more carefully on shooting technique because that 100 megapixel sensor is brutally unforgiving of sloppy handling.

But more than that, after shooting a lot of bursts lately with wildlife on the Z8, I think my mental space right now requires something slower, more purposeful, more meaningful and ultimately more calming as I sense an oncoming storm building again. It’s one of the reasons why I’ve been using it more lately. I’ve also written in more detail about that choice in my latest GFX article.

I’ve also been exploring the opposite end of the spectrum recently, returning to the compact Fujifilm X100VI for a family walk through local woodland.